Monday, August 9, 2010

Seeking Dependency

Cleaning my office I came across this note scribbled down, I must have been rushed,

"It is as though I turn to God in my moments of need. Where it was once me asking for a laundry list of prayer requests, now it is me asking for comfort and healing in moments of despair.

The issue however is that while God blesses me with comfort my praises are only temporary and lack longevity. What I have done is made God a safety net to restore me to self sufficiency. He is not my first love.

For people that don't understand, maybe you soon will. Learning to live in dependency is not easy."

This must have been written at least a year ago. How do you live in dependency and grow in faithfulness when independence seems so automatic? And, how is it that God might say, "Sure. One more time around the block on your own steam. If that makes you feel good. I'll still be here when you come back."? His love is greater than my stupidity.

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